8.31.2011 | 20:31

Fubu Hits the Margin

I woke up that early evening to a text message:
Tara, dito tayo samin, wala si Kuya.
I immediately went downstairs for a shower; my mom might get back from the grocery store and that would bust my escapade. I took two pictures of meself: one before and one after the bath.

After gearing myself up, I checked my phone back and hiya~ two missed calls. This guy missed me, didn't he? I bought with me my wallet and a hanky on the way to his house.

Right after shower. I'm so un-worked out, shy to post this one.
I dropped by a 7/11 store to buy condoms and lube, since I was out of stock (read: sexless four weeks) and this night has a steamy and action-filled forecast. I took a jeep to their place which is actually less than a kilometer away.

When I reached his place, he had dinner served for me. I begged off the offer to dine with him, not that I didn't like it, but because I came there for a purpose and eating literal food was not it.

He looked a little disappointed. Did the drink have something in it? I don't know, and I don't care. I won't touch his concoctions. He moved towards me and gave me a hug. A tight koala hug. I was a little confused that I just went with the flow. No one was captain to the ship, and I let him start the engine.

"The hug is for what happened to you, I read in your blog," he whispered to my ear and he started licking the backside of it. Tingly. I pushed him away and I kissed him in the mouth. His breath smelled of mint. I took control this time, initiating a fencing of tongues. I tied him a cherry stem and he responded with a soft moan. We gravitated towards his sofa, we were still torridly kissing until he was laid down and I am on top of him, clenching the sofa for support.

I pumped with our trousers in proximity and in less than a minute, he manifested a boner. I teased him by borrowing lines from a porn read, "something wants to get out of there," pointing to the area with my lips. He kissed me again while he uncaged the snake inside. We both removed our shirts and I went to his nipples. I encircled it with my tongue and he let out another soft moan which turned me on.

After doing his two chests, I went down on his treasure trail, following it by my tongue down to the snake. It was salivating and ready to bite. I used my thumb to take the precum away and I started playing with the head of his cock. I don't know the drill because I'm not a good cocksucker so I withdrew after a minute. He didn't complain so I guess my performance was enough to satisfy.

It was his turn to please me. He let me lie on the sofa and took my shorts off after. He was a natural at foreplay: he knew where to navigate his tongue, the brisk transition from kissing to licking my torso, licking my neck and armpits, my abdomen and the treasure trail to the already hard member. He sucked my dick in a very pleasuring manner, savoring his saliva while letting some intentionally flow down the shaft, moving from the head to the balls and eating it whole. The lone sound of his attempts pumped more blood to my cock and I was delirious with his every dive and wicked slurp.

After servicing my member to its full hardness, we went back to kissing. I can never explain how kissing is vital to me, and he knew that fact before inviting me over. This time, he pumped while on top of me, creating friction between our groins. He definitely knew how to sustain an erection.

I temporarily suspended our tongue fight scene and pulled out the strawberry flavored condom from the pocket of my trousers. "Coat me," I mouthed. He gave a devilish one-sided grin and opened the pouch with his teeth. He played at the contents, pinched the end and unwrapped the protection from the head to the end of my shaft. I feel hornier seeing someone put a condom on me.

"Bend over," I commanded. He willingly did so, as he took over my place and I stood. I took the lube and toyed at his hole with my thumb. I felt for his time to relax and when his nerves settled, I attacked his opening slowly, until I got the whole of my dick inside him. He gave out a loud moan, but I didn't draw back, I pulled and pumped from a slow to a faster tempo. Our bodies were adjoined and he moved with my rhythm, followed the flow of my thrusts.

I asked him to lay flat on the sofa, like planking, and I entered him at that position. The tightness gave me a rush and I went berserk for I was about to come. I kissed him in the nape while pumping at my most controlled yet fastest, withdrew the condom and ejaculated at his back. He faced me and just in time, I spilled at his tummy, my manjuice. He started ejaculating and I kissed him until he finished his turn. Good charms, he smiled and I asked him if we could take the shower together.

The heat was not washed by the cold water flowing from his shower, we kissed and teased each other with the way we handled the soap. If we were on a glass encasement, steam would have formed.

After the shower, I dressed up and he asked me to stay for a while. I was puzzled, for whatever purpose I was there for had been met. I saw no reason to lengthen my stay.

"Joe, I think I'm falling for you," he said in a low note.

I looked down at him while he is sitting in the dining chair. I did not deliberate on his words. I shrugged. A fuck buddy connection is one with no strings attached. I reminded him of that on our first meeting over a year ago. His statement hit the margin, and so much happened over a span of two weeks that I cannot add this mess to the pile which is already present.

I didn't say a word. I just kissed him and said goodbye.

8.30.2011 | 19:57

The Yiruma Project

For the past three months, I have been having test shots to maximize the video capabilities of this small widescreen camera that I got. I have shot landscapes as well as macros, but I'm still catching on cinematography.

My first project was a short film posted on one of my old blogs, called Facts of the Wind, shot in 720p 60f. Facts of the Wind is all about climate change. I won't be that generous with the link because I don't think I was able to do something good on post-prod (most especially on the low-light and timelapse scenes) so nevermind. LOL

The best Yiruma concert shot I have searched over the internet. He is so cute!

This new plan, The Yiruma Project, is a subject requirement (music video) and I thought of compiling Yiruma's compositions by merging at least three songs in one playing. I am currently drafting the sheet music for this, and honestly, it's not that easy. I have to grope with two elements, video and music, and come up with a 5-minute video. Whoop.

I need suggestions for the three/four songs. Can you help me choose? River Flows in You should be one -- it is my favorite (LOL) and it is base for all the other compositions, so I need two/three more. Any opinion will be very much appreciated. :)


8.29.2011 | 08:51

When The Trusted Gets Busted

I could be the toughest man for all you know.
However, there are several unique times when I am subject to agony: vulnerable, helpless.
Break my trust, and you must know how to earn its toll.

For the past two weeks after the breakup with James, I have been on some entanglement. Yes, call me a slut and label me with nouns, no problem. I trusted very few people with this information, and one of them is Concerned Citizen No. 3 (CC3), numbering with the order of precedence in knowing. I trusted CC3 for the hope that he will discern any need for advice imperative to me.

I was not disappointed for he performed the task well. I even felt vindicated with my little adventure but he was not supportive. I understood: he wanted me to work out the remaining usable form of connection that James and I still have, and convert it back to our old ways.

A few days passed and he befriended the guy pursuing me. This act was most weird. I mean, why would he do it? Doesn't he have enough friends? There were subliminal doubts, but being the me who finds justice in every deed, I interpreted this as a move of getting closer to both of us, to know more things, to understand the nature of the complexity.

I was wrong. He is a con artist at the peak of his career.

I intentionally didn't talk to him about Twitter Guy (TG) for the following days when one day, he excitedly told me on how TG and him are doing some flirting and that TG could be really sweet and caring. I tried to extract as much information so I could work on how to deal with them bastards, but CC3 apparently felt that I was not on the mood with all his TMI and resorted to telling me to have a good night. As if that would make my night? Well, it did make my night.

All along, TG has been telling me feel-good stuff like he really, really liked me and he wanted me to become his boyfriend. I was always aware of that idea but I kept it on the side since having another boyfriend without the three-month spaceout would consume me with fire like wood dipped in gasoline. I remained happy with the way he openly expressed his thoughts and with the assurance the he gave me on his feelings, how unswayed he is, and how he would want to pursue his emotional urges on me.

Then all of a sudden, I felt guilty for James. I remember talking to another Concerned Citizen, the No.1. He told me to suspend my hospitality to these expressions because it will not look good if I get dragged again in just a short period of time after a breakup. So I decided to tell TG via a DM to divert his feelings to other people who deserved it, and let me be, without explaining anything.

His first expression, surprisingly, was not defiant, given all his honesty on expressing how he liked me. He said that even if he did not understand, he will do my request. However, he kept on sending me SMSs. I found this act, again, most weird. I thought that he would leave me after the things I told him. Like a fly roving around a piece of meat, he was still there, intent. He was looking for me. I was muttering, what the hell?

I sent him a text message asking how things are doing. He reaffirmed his feelings on me, but something holds him back, which I guess was referring to my indefinite statement on the DM. I felt that the time was ripe to tell him the story, on how CCs told me to be fair to James and take at least three months before engaging in another relationship or affair. He gave me a series of random vomits like "Well... Shit..." and "Oh, fuck, yeah..." and "How could I have been so stupid...". I thought that it was all about a fact that he was supposed to know which he is now reminded of. Later, I knew why he reacted eerily.

We continued talking and there he was with his flattery, again. I was half-expecting him to stay with me for that span. He assured me that he will use the time to get closer to me and that our status was suspended in the middle of lovers and friends. He pledged for taking one guy at a time, and that guy was me. TG said all of that. I was glad to ascertain his remarks and I guess as human, there is nothing bad in investing a little of my emotional connections to this man. He is very honest with his heartbeat spikes and anyone would be just stone-hearted to ignore these declarations. Both of us decided to use the intervening time to make the other feel special.

Night came and CC3 frantically announced that he received a proposal from another guy but he turned it down because he is already taken. Oh, so after all the things that he promised to tell me, this one did not reach me. He told me that they, he and his boyfriend, will tell me when I am ready. The statement was beyond every oddity on earth. How will I not be ready to know something?

Like a light bulb, understanding dawned on me. The previous text messages. The way he described TG. Everything. I was able to tie the loose ends, but I needed solid evidence. Impenetrability.

I knew of a catalyst which will give me an immediate product to the chemical reaction. I used this on TG, and it was effective. He confirmed his connections with CC3. Crap has it, my blood pressure doubled in an instant. 

I didn't reply because I can't even comprehend the words. I was thinking of crying but there was nothing to cry at. The body has became ash and as fast as that, I have tried to shut them off from my life, no matter how they explain. There can be nothing more grave than this. I felt conspired at, ridiculed. I felt helpless. This is the first time that I encountered this experience, and I learned a lot from it. I was in pain. I was thinking: Will there be something beyond pain, that can be much hurtful? Will it be death? How painful will it become if it is the most agonizing?

They could admit to be stupid and sorry for all they want, the hell I care. But how can one be sorry if he knew exactly what he was doing? To me, there is nothing to talk about. Let the heavens be my judge. I hope the next time I give my trust to people, I'd know them first. I was very disappointed with how these two educated bitches acted. Clearly, graduating from college is not an assurance that we learn moral values and have integrity on our words.

I curse you CC3 and TG with infertility. May you have a miserable relationship and life in sum. May your bodies rot in hell. Should you regret, forget about it. You have done enough damage and when the trusted gets busted, there is simply no way of mending.

Okay, back to regular programming.

8.27.2011 | 23:00

Impenetrability

No two things can exist --
at the same place,
at the same time.

8.24.2011 | 16:17

Five Hundred First September

If there is a sleeping pill, then you are the tablet that wakes me up.

Five hundred and one Septembers ago, you and I shared the same room, the same bed, the same blanket. When I open my eyes I would see your long eyelashes meticulously curved above your eyelids, refracting the little sunlight passing through the capiz window in my roomy quarter. The sight of your angelic, young face on an early Saturday morn is simply tonic to my hibernating veins.

We tread along the enervating garden of our youth: by summer, the May branches robustly picks its might, facing the unstirring sun with vigor; by rainy season, the June twigs fold themselves on the puffing gale; by calm Septembers, the earthlings move in and out of the ground to renew a daily need for movement.

Everything was going perfect between the two of us until one bizarre September, I saw you boarding a train with another man. I never asked, I never went to know, I just knew that seeing you leave on that train was coterminus with seeing you. It was an exclamation point bordering on an ellipsis and reaching the finality with a period.

It were those excruciating images of the leaving train and your entwined hands that are vividly haunting my sleepless Octobers up to this day.

You were the only girl that I hoped to be with for ten million more Septembers but the impossibility of a renewal is just as elusive as an aberrant apple tree in the center of the Sunken Garden, very unnecessary. Our future can be told by the dead leaf clinging on to a branch on the onset of a typhoon. I am waiting for the last ant to enter Noah's Ark devoid of further emotions as the Ark closes. By October I will be drowning.

If punishment is absolute, then leaving my sanity is worse. I only have you on my mind, and that is enough to cleave me for a million more Septembers of hits-and-misses.

8.23.2011 | 14:10

Pomme de Terre

It was ominously cloudy and a day before Thanksgiving, the Arkinton siblings are driving to Nemo, Missouri. They attended a family affair without their parents and are going back home for the holiday.

The eldest of them was already insisting to go because they won't make it early if they delay the ride.

"Come on, Percival, just a picture for memories' sake!" his aunt Margaret pressed.

"But we really need to go, it might rain anytime..." he asserted. "We had a great time, though. Enjoy your weekend."

"Okay, we better do it while you're on the car. And, give these to my sister, will you?"

"Alright aunt. We really hope to stay but mom and dad can't come here, so we need to get back."

"No problem, send them our love. Be safe," his aunt resorted.

Click.

The camera ticked, and their beams were imprinted on film just before the car accelerated.

A few miles from their aunt's mansion, rain suddenly poured. The tiny droplets hitting the windshield became larger drips which created loud planks at the roof of their buggy. His younger sister Amy said that they should find a temporary stop and let the rain arrive at a calm. However, Percival was upholding to his decision of not letting any further delays.

They drove past overgrowth of trees, fields and open lands but the rain has not stopped still after three hours. On a particular edge of the road after leaving Pittsburgh, it became darker because of more trees preventing the scant light coming from the sky when...

They reached a cliff which led their car into a deep lake. The picture that their aunt had taken was the last of the Arkinton siblings' smiles.



8.22.2011 | 10:26

A Champion of Words

He was supposed to be our rallying point. Now that he's gone, our country won't ever be the same.


Nisan turned eleven that day. He never expected that his birthday would yield a massive event which took the country by a singular blow. Somewhere in the depths of his thoughts, his wish was to have the dictator flee from office and let freedom be a commodity which everyone can enjoy.

This day remarks its unbecoming.

The news of the assassination of a celebrated lawmaker shook not only his cornerstones of hope, but of others, too. Having a penchant for positive things, Nisan was almost conned into a happily ever after. Almost there.

Nisan wanted to have a career in public administration, and the senator was a very bright influence to sparkle a voracious ratiocination. Now gone, laid on a glass catafalque, and mocked by his opponents, the poor man has served an indefinite purpose after all his passive subversion. The kid was bound to follow the steps of this man, even if it would lead him to the man's grave.

It was a concussion for the boy. However, fate has games of equivalent proportions. Call it a wheel of misfortune, the administration was thrown out even after the senator's death. His dying for the Filipino people did not go to waste.

Being a believer is not a waste of time. Nisan had to believe in a lot of things since he became an orphan. He had to hold on to the sufferings long enough to emerge tough albeit windswept.

Twenty eight years later, Nisan has already reached the uttermost parts of the country to instill in people the good that believing can bring. His man faced death but was never disheartened by the predominance of the archenemy. So did he emulate such.

+++

Being an orphan, a nun in Hospicio de San Jose made fun of a car brand which was given to him as his name, ergo, Nisan San Jose.

From this point on, we will project Nisan's perspectives on that eleventh birthday, every twenty-second day of August.


Credits go to Dabo for illustrating a fraction.

8.17.2011 | 07:38

Si Eugene at Ang Walang Wala

Matagal na nung huli akong manood ng Tagalog movie sa sinehan, at ang last yata until this week eh yung One More Chance na kasama kong pinanood ang ex-girlfriend ko. Oh, anong say ng title sa status namin? Haha.

Nung Monday, nanood ako ng Ang Babae Sa Septic Tank with my UP friends sa SM North. Ayoko maging spoiler sana sa mga hindi pa nakakapanood nun pero di ko mapigilan ang sarili ko!

Pero bago ko sabihin yun, nalurkei naman daw akech sa sound system ng SM! May static at brown noise sa stereo network nila! Nakakairita, to the maximum level (dahil ang course namin ay very particular sa mga noise at acoustic networks). Not to mention na yung mga trailers eh na-cut agad. Tapos, may mga 5 minutes of dead air bago i-play ang movie. Nakaflash pa talaga sa screen yung parang DVD player. Anufilch?

Yung umpisa, akala ko boring. Wiz nag-cut at pinasa-diyos and editing at sobrang poor ng lighting! Ansaveeeeh? Alam ko nag-eexist na ang Adobe After Effects at Sony Vegas! Tapos, talagang kinapos sa editing! Nasabi ko na bang na-bore ako sa pag-antay na masalukan niya yung PITONG anak niya ng noodles kasi hindi inedit? Talk about amateur shot. LOL. Pero keri na, umpisa lang yun.

Kinilig ang tinggil ko nung pinakita na si JM de Guzman shet! Ang gwapo gwapo niya. Gusto kong magpaangkin sa kanya. Choz. Ang sarap niya siguro. Choz ulit. Sobrang hagalpak ako dun sa pinansin nila yung FB status ng friend nilang direktor. Wrong gramming kasi siya teh. Kaloka! Haha.

Tapos fast forward na tayo nung mag-meet sila ni Eugene Domingo, medyo di ko type yung musical though ayos lang naman. Grabe, muntik na akong ma-deadsung kasi nabulunan ako sa lafang ko! Hay, inubo-ubo ako dun sa Tatlong Uri ng Acting. Bwiset! Akala mo walang bukas, ang sakit niya sa tiyan!

Fast forward ulit dun naman sa pagbisita nila sa slumps. Sa squatters area sa ibang tawag. Instead na maawa ako sa kanila, tawa ako ng tawa nung binakal yung sasakyan niya! Leche, bakit hindi babakalin eh nasa squatters ka nga! Haha, grabe, kung totoo yun, nakakalungkot isipin. Siguro mag-eemote na lang ako sa isang sulok habang tinitignan ang mga tao na binabaklas ang parts ng kotse ko. Haha. Wagas sa pagmumura sila JM at Kean Cipriano! Parang hindi sila.

Natuwa din pala ako sa konting bromance sa kwento. Nakakakilig hahaha :D

At siyempre, ang best part. Yun na yun! Haha. Ayoko na i-spoil yun.


Nakakatawa, sobra, yung movie, at medyo mapapaisip ka kung saan ito at sino ito, etc. Ang galing ni Chris Martinez talaga, bilib ako sa kanya. Basta pag napanood niyo to, magiging SABAW ang utak niyo at masasabi niyong, WALANG WALA! Haha. Kayo na bahala kung bakit. :)))

8.15.2011 | 10:22

Leave Me Not


Monochromatic
is living without you near
I need you right now.


Primary Color
you are my life's basic hue
fill it, take me in your arms.


Don't store the brush, yet
accept my apology
this time, I'll swear truths.



8.14.2011 | 13:11

A Recollection

It is a cold and damp morning but  nothing serious that  a small umbrella can't fix. Everything is usual aside from the occasional ramblings of the traffic police at the side of the flyover while trying to avoid the spills expelled of flood from charging cars. This scene greets my first school week for August.

Apart from the fact that my birth day is roughly a week from now, there is nothing notable that will take place in the weeks to come. I am still bearing a problem that has been keeping me out of concentration for three days now. This dilemma is something that I cannot share to anyone without me trusting the person with whole conviction. I could only assuage much of my internal struggles to an inanimate object at this very moment.

As I just took a seat in one of the two-seaters of this refrigerated bus, I marveled at everything around me. To my right, across this tempered window, are people trying to get to their businesses: Fast paced, without turning backs. Weird enough, I heard a church bell ring at the Edsa Shrine while I was inside an isolated space inside a bus. To my left and front, are people with earphones on, some spotting conversations with earphones on. How is it possible for them to hear the other? I wonder.

The bus conductor rings his coins in front of these people with headphones on. One guy gives him twenty bucks, the one with new design. The conductor surveyed him thoroughly as if subjecting him to an x-ray. "Cubao po, Farmers." The conductor pulls out three pieces from the bunch of tickets, and hands him several coins.

Everything is apparently an exchange of interactions. The moment you release your part, you must expect to receive another. This is a law according to Sir Isaac Newton. It so happened that, when I made that action, I received an unusual reaction. Energy is equal to the mass of an objected projected to the square of light's speed. By manipulating the variables, can a mass go back in time by changing the plane of reference?

I want time to go back, but when I think about it, I always think of the times when I thought of this, and why it didn't happen. There is no way to turn this back, the only event is for the present to continually move on, forward.

Of all people, why me? Why did this happen to me? A singular teardrop left my right eye and from surprise, I brushed it swiftly with the back of my hand. I could not believe that I will fall into the trap so easy. I was confronted with the fact that after all of my efforts to hide it, it resurfaces in one form to another. A disgrace, I am.

I was praying for the rest of my trip. For almost five years now, I have not prayed for that long. Being prayerful was my older self, and I needed to go back to that disposition. Ergo, the apostolic Joe.

With the aide of my friends, my family, and my brothers and sisters in Christ, I know that all things are possible.


+++


This post was supposed to be published 1st of August. Right now, I can say that I have successfully got past that test.

Earlier in the church, I can't express the belonging that I had with His word: how it abashed me, got me naked but altogether healed my spirituality. Have a blessed Sunday. To Him be the glory!

8.13.2011 | 02:02

Differential



Haha. Geek mode. Hoy Wil, eto na ang sagot ko. Di ko alam kung tama yan, 3 years ago na ang Differential Equations ko.

8.12.2011 | 10:30

The Twink-Cougar Love Affair

“belated..happpppppeeeee bertdei..wish u ol the best!!!”

There he was. After more than two weeks of hibernating in a deep hiatus called “Space Away from My Boyfriend”, he miraculously appeared in my facebook profile and gave me a surprise greeting I never counted on. If the medium is the message then his greeting was definitely an utter declaration of his preference to literally talk to the wall than directly to me which was quite consistent to his disappearance when he decided to join NASA to be an astronaut and explore his own space. Two weeks of no response to my messages which was previously accounted to his malfunctioning phone or insufficient balance to text to other networks (talk about cheap alibi), his uncalled for apparition was as sudden as Ricky Martin’s coming out of the closet: timely but unnecessary.

But more than the medium, it’s the language that gave me a feeling of humiliation on his behalf, the restricted kind that you get when while having a serious talk with a friend you see some slimy booger skidding out of his nostril. The way he spelled "happy" with 7 Ps and 5 Es, and the word "birthday" like a person who worships Salbakuta would pronounce and spell it, combining it with inappropriate use of punctuation.. marks.. and shortened spellings of "all" and "you" (cummon, he could have saved some effort typing Ps to spell them correctly ), I finally accepted what I had long been trying to deny to myself for two long weeks we were together: I fell in love with a jejemon.

All along, I thought that being 28 and having a five-year experience in my love resume would make me an expert in dating. But I guess my age and experience had only qualified me as a cougar when I got swept away by someone six years younger than me bearing an indubitable charm that masked his jejemonic tendencies. It was a whirlwind romance catapulted by our strong online connection. So strong I boarded a bus to Pampanga to meet him for the first time just barely two days after our first exchanges of messages in a social networking site exclusively for people like us (read: desperate lonely people like me.) On the third day of knowing each other, he introduced me to his best friend as his boyfriend. And that’s how, ladies and gentlemen, I learned for the first time that we were officially together.

Just like a futile investment in a network marketing, there was no turning back and I knew I was about to be doomed. There were red flags everywhere reminding me that the very foundation of our relationship was as strong as a cobweb trying to remain intact against the wind of typhoon Ondoy. We were so different in many aspects. It was like matching a kangaroo with a rabbit and expecting them to bear an armadillo. But I just simply brushed off these red flags consciously and unconsciously mainly because I enjoyed his company for the most part and, admittedly, I wanted to stretch it for as long as I could so it could last until my birthday which was just barely three weeks away.

Truthfully, I found his simple living quite charming. He would prefer to ride the jeepney over an FX even if the five peso difference in the fare was not worth the smoke and dust airbrushed on our faces. He would refuse to go to the mall for a date, but would be inclined to stay home where we could simply make the most out of our time just canoodling like slimy worms put in a jar. He was a generous philanthropist to his friends, giving away his Fossil watch or a bottle of expensive perfume in return to small favors such as helping him pacify an irate customer at work. (I wondered what he would give when someone would try to save his life). But the charm of his simplicity was quite fleeting. As days passed, evidences of him being a jejemon started to surface like panicky cockroaches on the wall foreboding a heavy downpour of rain.

For one, our conversations were limited to what happened to his day, usually the shit ones that took place while dealing with his customers on the phone. When I tried to inject some opinionated questions such as what he thought about the movie we watched he would simply give me one-line answers like “it’s good” or “nice”. And then he would move on to bragging on how he hung up on a difficult customer because he needed to take a shit. I judge a person’s likeability based on his passion. I asked him once what was his. After minutes of blabbering, he settled on sleeping as his final answer and then he laughed hysterically like it was really really funny. I pitied him at that moment.

But the biggest factor that spelled the difference in our age and highlighted his jejemonic inclination was how he handled arguments. Actually, he never did. He always stayed out of it either because it was too much of an effort for him to think of counterarguments or it was just too much of an effort for him to think. Period. So when something exasperated him, he would just walk out on me in the middle of a busy street and shut me off like I never existed in his life. When he said he didn’t want to talk to me, he meant it like a curse. It was like saying sorry to a statue. No amount of pleading and apologizing would make him talk to me again. One night, we were snuggling each other like it was our last night being together when without warning, he just shoved me and got furious with me as if I committed the gravest crime. Turned out, he got irritated by the stubbles on my chin that kept poking his skin. I plead for apology like a hungry dog begging for a piece of bone until I got tired and finally walked out on him. Indeed, that was our last night being together. The next day, he started being indifferent to my existence. He stopped responding to my messages and started barring my calls, which I learned later through his bestfriend, was his way of telling me that he wanted me out of his life for an indefinite amount of time. I never heard from him again until the day after my birthday when I read the birthday greeting I never expected.

I was staring on the monitor for a long time contemplating on whether to respond to his greeting or just pretend that I overlooked on it. But when I viewed our pictures posted in his album, I couldn't help but be transported back to the wonderful moments I had with him. The inexplicable mixture of feelings of giddiness and humiliation I had when he held my hands and kissed me in public like he was really proud to declare to the world that I was his boyfriend. The way he would respond, “I love you more” like it was the only honest thing he said in his life each time I told him I love him. The insurmountable joy I felt at the sight of his face while watching him sleep. These memories made me realize me that, after the death of a dream with the ending of my five-year relationship prior to the one I had with him, I could still lose myself and be in love like I had never been hurt before.

“Thanks J***. It's nice to hear from you again," I responded after some careful thoughts.

Surprisingly, despite his disappearance left unexplained, I meant it in a very forgiving way.


Postscript: In as much as I would have wanted to write this story, I found a better version. This story is not mine. I didn't make any revisions whatsoever, and credit goes to atticus1982.

8.08.2011 | 04:54

Twenty-second

Good day, mate!

Awww, this is a cheezy post, but there is no other way for me to thank the people who sent in greetings for my twenty-second birthday. I love you all guys.

Special mention pala muna:

Una, si Daddy Fox.. hmm. Daddy, sorry na sa ginawa ko, ha? Alam ko busy ka sa work so you probably won't have time to read this po. Ay, di na pala kita daddy kasi engkantos daw ang mga kapatid ko pag nagkataon. High level masyado. Sapat na sa akin ang anak sa labas. LOL

Tapos, si Seth. Oo, makakalimutan ko ba ang breakfast in bed? Pero sana ibi-nook mo muna ako ng hotel para mas makatotohanan. Ayie. Thanks ah. :)

Tapos, si Kuya Nate. Hmm. Kung ano man po ang maisipan mo, magpapasalamat na lang ako.

Si Kuya Rus, di ko nasagot ang tawag. Pero salamat po.

Si Kiro, hmm, who has been with me almost through anything in the past.. Salamat munting kaibigan. Ay di ka pala munti, higante ka pala. LOL

and, for now..

James. You never know how surprised I was on Skype. Sobrang na-happy ako.. Alam ko Tuesday ka pa makakauwi pero I'm anticipating your arrival na. You are one of the few people who makes me very, very happy... I'm very thankful na kahit andiyan ka lang.. :)

Cheezy post nga. Oh siya! As of 5am lang naman yan today. I'd never know what the next 19 hours would have for me, pero magiging thankful na lang ako sa kung ano pa man ang dadating.


Birthday wish? Hmm. Madami kasi eh, tapos year long. Pero lulubusin ko na. Una, sana maka-graduate na ako sa October. Pangalawa, sana maging maganda ang resulta ko sa Boad Exam. Pangatlo, sana dumating na ang iPhone4 ko. haha. At panghuli, sana peace lang sa lahat. Ayoko ng may kaaway, or hindi kapansinan, alam mo yun, medyo awkward kapag may hindi pumapansin sa iyo, lalo na sa ibang blogger. Hmm. I'd change the wish na lang pala, sana maging honest ang mga tao saken. Alam naman natin na hindi lahat ng tao eh gusto tayong makasalamuha, I only wish decency and civility. That is all. Thank You!

How will I ever thank the Lord for His greatness? Salamat din po, Panginoon, sa pagbibigay sa akin muli ng kalakasan at isa pang taon upang harapin ang mga hamon. Sana po ay patuloy lang ang inyong gabay at patnubay.

Amen.

8.07.2011 | 00:03

Customer Tales

Ring ring.

Joe: Thank you for calling Chrovius Internet Services, how may I help you tonight?

Old lady: I can't get online. Can you help me?

Joe: I would be more than glad to assist you in getting connected to the internet, but before we proceed, can I ask for your Rovius number?

Old lady: Ah, always the bother. It is 687-412-7796, copy that darling?

Joe: You are calling us from 687-412-7796, is that correct madame--?

Old lady: Mrs. Forgeton, call me Mrs. Forgeton, and yes, you got it right.

Joe: All right, Mrs. Forgeton. How are things doing in South Brisbane today? [while trying to locate the details of the number]

Old lady: We got fire in the forest, have you heard? Those campers are annoying.

Joe: [laughs but forgot to press the mute button on the hard phone.]

Old lady: What is funny, darling?

Joe: [panic. ang tanga ng customer. forest fire nga eh. camper ka diyan. urur. okay, sabay bunot ng phone jack sa hard phone para magkaroon ng noise. nabwisit si customer. binaba ang phone.]


What is the moral of this tale? The agent must know how to end the call in a manner which can't be tracked by QA. Haha. Mean girl.

Of course, the italicized stuff are fictitious.

8.05.2011 | 03:45

Jet Lag

It's driving me mad, I miss you so much...




What time is it?
Where you are?
I miss you more than anything
Back at home you feel so far
Waitin' for the phone to ring 
It's gettin', lonely livin' upside down
I don't even wanna be in this town
Tryin' to figure out the time zones
Makin' me crazy 


Chorus

You say good morning when it's midnight
Going out of my head alone in this bed
I wake up to your sunset, it's drivin' me mad
I miss you so bad and 
my heart, heart, heart is so jetlagged 


What time is it?
Where you are?
5 more days and I'll be home
I keep your picture in my car
I hate the thought of you alone 
I've been keepin' busy all time
Just to try to keep you off my mind
Tryin' to figure out the time zones
Makin' me crazy

We will be seeing each other, soon. I miss you so much!

8.04.2011 | 21:00

Inevitable Twilight


Oxygen entangles with iron: rust
Cavities complicate the system
  of an industrial junk.


Air in mobility: wind
The blades provided relief, alleviation
  after eons of usance.


Now hitting the hay: retire
Copious hirelings miss the comfort
  only an enormous propeller can suffice.


Unstoppable future: technology
Air conditioning eventually advances
  giving the fan an inevitable twilight.


8.02.2011 | 21:16

8.01.2011 | 20:23

Tatlong Patak ng Luha


Ilang araw na ang lumipas buhat ng masilayan
Walang hapis na sakit, damdaming di inaasahan
Sadlak sa hinagpis, pusong uhaw aking nilululan
Tatlong patak ng luha mistulang kita'y inalayan


Ang unang patak na ito ay alay ko sa 'yong ngiti
Muli't muli'y babalikan at iidliping parati
Kung ika'y humagalpak, akala'y walang bukas lagi
Ako'y asong ulol, naglalaway sa 'yong pulang labi


Ang pangalawang luha ay dahil sa iyong ginawa
Ako ay lubos sa pagmamahal, ika'y nagsasawa
Bakit nga ba ganito kapag ika'y isang timawa,
Mga bagay, makuha mo man, agad ring nawawala?


Ikatlo, pagkat 'di na makahahanap ng tulad mo
Ika'y walang kasing ganda, mabango at matalino
Tiyak na nag-iisa ka lang, ikutin man ang mundo
Iyak na lang, iyak, puso kong sinaktan mo ng todo.


+++

Ang tulang ito ay ginawa ko bilang paglahok sa patimpalak ni kaibigang Iyah.

Unquote Joe

Most of the time, tact is not for the intelligent. It takes a great deal of 'being there' to realize that something else is going on.
+++
Albeit Greatness speaks of an effort-filled voyage, the shortest trail en route is the way down.

The Tweet-ter

Follow me @green_breaker

Cohorts


Popular Posts