10.20.2011 | 13:26


Consider this as my personal goodbye.

We haven't met for a good two years but I can still vividly picture out the laughter that we all shared when you were still around, the time I last saw you.

It is almost a definite truth that most of the loud gays are funny. He is. He was.

Until the 18th of October. I received a text message from I don't know who (since I was sensitive of the message that he/she sent, I didn't bother ask his/her name) saying metaphorically that another friend passed away. For the purposes of this post we will name this blessed soul Nick.

I was first introduced to Nick in one of the EBs in our mini-clan [please, not the cheap type of clan]. My first impression of him was nothing but 'another gay I will put at the side', if you know what I mean. Without leaving the first thirty seconds of our meetup, I was laughing out loud with his jokes. I actually found him cool.

When I had my PR account, it was a great surprise that I saw him view my profile. Damn! He must not know... He sent me a message. So it won't look all guilty-of-something, I replied. We exchanged a few messages, and after saying that I chat in a familiar way, asked me to show my face picture. As if I would give him.

For the past months, I'd always see him logged in the site. Status: SEX.


While the clan was still active, he would occasionally send group messages like,
I just slept with Justin. I met him in FEU and he equals damn gorgeous. Performance level aketch! Napaliyad na lang si poging fafa. Nadiligan na ulit sa wakas.
It gave me the general idea. Nick is sexually active.


I asked the texter, "Uhm, don't you think...?" and I must admit it was out of my tactlessness. I think the texter got what I was trying to imply and replied with something which made me feel embarrassed. I was ashamed of myself at that moment. Sometimes I really don't know how to act depending on the situation.

He is my follower on my legitimate Twitter account and I backread on his Tweets. I think I read something like 'been in the ambulance for the third time. 41 degrees na lagnat na naman.' and these tweets gave me the speculations.

If it was the third time that he was sent to the hospital via an ambulance, therefore he had been near to death three times now for the same reason. Dengue fever was my first conclusion. But then, if these keep on recurring, could this be something else? Like, AIDS?

I erased the thought for one moment. How dare me to think of it that way, associating the sickness with his sexual activeness. However, I'm left with no other inferences. He must be sick of something like that. From the time I knew him, we were 17 years old, he's already sexually active.

What I'm trying to point out here is to raise awareness. If it is dengue fever which caught him thrice, then let us be wary of the fever and do something about it in our own little ways.

If it is STD, let us keep on practicing safe methods. I'd be an advocate from now on, because I don't want to lose people I know just because of STD.

I will always think of the good times we had with Nick. True, that life is short to be spent on things that don't make sense. Nick was a happy man. He will always be remembered.


  1. this is sad...nadalaw mo na ba siya?

  2. Not yet, I don't know where his wake is.. Di ko rin alam kung saan sila nakatira.

  3. condolence sa frend mo...

  4. you're back!!! yey!!!

    ang saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad... may isang sisterette nanaman ang nawala...

  5. Eg: Salamat sir..

    Wil: Yes, I'm kinda back, but with a not-so-good news.

  6. kaya ikaw! mag iingat ka! at tigilan mo na yang ginagawa mo *if you know what i mean*

  7. truly sad.
    condolences for your loss.

  8. Rusell: Wala akong ginagawang masama, wala! And I always exercise caution through safe sex.

    LanchiE: I appreciate. Thank you, sir.

    Nyl: Thanks, kuya. :(

  9. ay, hindi yata na-post yung comment ko kahapon,, kainis, mahaba pa man din yun..

    i was to tell that i also had a friend who was sexually active and i guess, nick and my friend landed on the same spot years after. The only difference was I had the chance to be with my friend for quite some time to be of his comfort..

    my prayers for Nick..

  10. ceiboh: oh, that made me just sad.. :|

  11. sad..my prayers for nick..

  12. :( may his soul rest in peace...


so... what's your take on it?

Unquote Joe

Most of the time, tact is not for the intelligent. It takes a great deal of 'being there' to realize that something else is going on.
Albeit Greatness speaks of an effort-filled voyage, the shortest trail en route is the way down.

The Tweet-ter

Follow me @green_breaker


Popular Posts